LOS ANGELES,  Nov 19: Nicole Kidman has shared that she often wakes up with thoughts about her own mortality. The 57-year-old actress posed for a striking cover shoot for one of British GQ’s Men of the Year 2024 editions, where she reflected on how her perspective on life has evolved in her 50s.

Speaking about being more in tune with her emotions, Nicole was asked why she feels things more deeply now. She explained, “Mortality. Connection. Life coming and hitting you. And the loss of parents and raising children and marriage and all of the things that go into making you a fully sentient human. I'm in all of those places. So life is, whew.”

She continued, “It's definitely a journey. And it hits you as you get older how – it's a wake up at 3 am crying and gasping kind of thing. If you're in it and not numbing yourself to it. And I'm in it. Fully in it.”

Nicole revisited the topic of mortality when reflecting on how the loss of her parents and raising her own children had changed her outlook. She said, “There's the mortality aspect of life which, when you start to deal with that, it's very heavy. When you're raising children you're like, 'I gotta stay here. I wanna see all of this.' It's devastating and beautiful and extraordinary.”

In 2014, Nicole was devastated by the death of her father, Antony, who passed away from a suspected heart attack at the age of 75. Her mother, Janelle, tragically passed away in September of this year at the age of 84—just a week after Nicole recorded her interview with GQ.

Nicole shares daughters Sunday Rose, 16, and Faith, 14, with her husband Keith Urban, whom she married in 2006. The Oscar-winning actress is also the mother of adopted children Bella, 31, and Connor, 29, whom she shares with her ex-husband Tom Cruise. However, Nicole has a complicated relationship with her two eldest children, whom she has not been seen with in public for 16 years. She has hinted that Bella and Connor are "loyal to their father" and “don’t call her mum” after choosing Scientology over her when she split from Cruise.

Reflecting on the days following her father's death, Nicole recalled a moment when her daughters, who were just four and six at the time, saw her crying. She shared, "The little one was just so little that she didn't know whether I was acting or not. She said, 'Mummy acting now?' And the older one was like, 'No, mummy not acting now.'"

She also remembered her older daughter asking, “You won’t be sad in the morning?” Nicole said, “Because they don’t want a house full of sadness. Who does?”

In an interview last week, Nicole opened up about the death of her mother, sharing her sadness that Janelle didn’t live to see her new film, Babygirl. Speaking to Vanity Fair for their Hollywood Issue, Nicole expressed her grief over her mother's sudden passing while Nicole was at a film festival to accept an award for her role in an erotic thriller.

“She was very excited to see Babygirl, and she was excited to see The Perfect Couple too, but she didn’t get to see either of those,” Nicole revealed.

Describing her mother as her "compass," Nicole added, “She was my compass in a way. It’s like losing that, but at the same time going...”

Nicole explained how much her mother wanted for her and her sister: "So much of what she wanted for my sister and I was to create women in this world who felt like they could express themselves and have opportunities, especially things she didn’t have from her generation."

Nicole also shared how supportive her mother had been of her career, saying, "She loved my career. She would be there through all the ups and downs, all of it. Her essence has been pretty much the driving force through my whole life. I wish she could have seen this part of it.”

The actress announced her mother’s death via Babygirl director Halina Reijn, who read a statement on Nicole’s behalf during a panel at the Venice International Film Festival last month. Nicole had planned to attend the festival and accept the Volpi Cup award for Best Actress for her role in the erotic drama.

Nicole’s statement read: "Today I arrived in Venice to find out shortly after, that my beautiful, brave mother Janelle Ann Kidman has just passed."

Explaining her decision to leave the event early, Nicole said, "I am in shock and I have to go to my family, but this award is for her. She shaped me, she guided me and she made me."

The Big Little Lies star added, "I am beyond grateful that I get to say her name to all of you through Halina, the collision of life and art is heartbreaking, and my heart is broken."